Saturday, 4 May 2013

Time

When I stop and think about it, which I have been finding myself doing a lot recently, time is an incredibly strange concept. I often wonder what it would be like if the concept of time was completely lost, so time didn't exist at all. Would we be less stressed? Would we have more time for what's truly important? Or would we be confused and become a mess as a race?

I went to a concert at my school last night, entirely by my year group, as we attempted to raise money for The Royal Marsden. A boy in my year group was diagnosed with cancer in December and it was a real shock for my year. I won't pretend that I've ever been very close with him, I've simply sat next to him in a few lessons on occasion. But it was a shock nonetheless. I never expected to be facing this at my age. The fact that he now has to put his GCSEs on hold and go through intense chemotherapy treatment at The Royal Marsden in order to keep his health is daunting. It doesn't feel right, I feel very naive for saying this when I know there are cancer patients that are merely babies but, I feel as if we're too young for this. 

There are three more weeks left at my school until I leave for study leave. It will be the end of five years at my secondary school. I've been feeling alright about it, I know I'm getting a completely new start in London in September. Whilst that partly scares me, it also excites me in some ways. I have the opportunity to start completely afresh. And it could be great. But last night, when I was watching the immense talent of my year, listening to the cheers as we all supported each other just as we have for these five years and seeing the teachers who have been there for us through thick and thin, I was filled with a sadness which I didn't see coming. I have been so blessed here and I can't honestly imagine it ending so soon. 

That is when I began to think about time again. We label it as three weeks, but if time didn't exist we might not know when it would come. There is something about it that fascinates me. My whole life is shaped by time; plans, exams, school. And I like that, there's a security in me knowing exactly when some things are going to happen that makes me feel more confident. I'm definitely one of those people that likes to have my plans in place, it makes me feel on edge to not know what's going to happen. So if there was no idea of time, maybe I'd be more laid back as a person, more easy going. But then again, I wonder whether anything would get done, would we still have the motivation to do the things that we must? 

I woke up early and this was on my mind so I thought I would come and write it all out. I apologise if none of it makes any sense! Today I'm off to see The Winslow Boy at The Old Vic in London today with Harry. I'm really looking forward to it, I have no doubt I'll be writing about it sometime soon. I hope you all have lovely bank holiday weekends!

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